Skip to main content

Spit



Sometimes I wonder if there are aliens amongst us. These aliens look normal enough, like everyday people they trudge about this busy city. They drive cars, lorries, trucks and motorcycles, they wait at bus-stops, they walk on the pavements, they use pedestrian bridges, well in short you see them almost everywhere and there is not a thing that distinguishes us from them, except of course for one characteristic that sets them apart from us normal people. They spit in public. It is a habit more than a need, and they have no qualms doing it literally in your face!

I imagine they have bigger saliva glands than us. Nope in fact they have several of these glands that constantly emits a substantial portion of saliva that threatens to flood their mouth and choke them, which is why they constantly spit about. When your mouth is constantly flooding over with saliva all the time, you just don't have the liberty of waiting till you get to the washroom, the need to spurt that extra liquid out is ever so urgent.

Now that is why ever so often you would see a perfectly well dressed middle-aged lady standing at the bus-stop who all of a sudden goes "hork-hork" and out comes a glob of liquid that lands next to the foot of the unfortunate person next to her. Many a time that unfortunate and horrified spectator has been me. The lady in question makes no effort to apologise, totally at ease by her very irregular act. Now how can someone do something so perfectly disgusting and remain so cool about it? Reason being? It is as normal as twitching one's nose or flicking one's hair where she comes from. Yep that planet where the aliens all have very active saliva glands. Ah and they thought they had us fooled with the human get-up!



The city council is aware that the spitting menace is a problem. They do what they can of course, the result being some ineffectual signboards here and there forbidding the act. The menace however continues to grow and thrive as more of these alien beings flock to the city. Look out of the bus window, and chances are you will see the man in the car next to the bus winding down his window and spitting out a glob that lands spat on the road. You then wonder to yourself, "why did I have to look out of the window at that moment?" the thing is it is no longer about looking out of the window at the wrong moment. In fact each time you decide to catch some scenery, be prepared to see some alien in the process of easing themselves of excess saliva.

The ensuing result is that the city is splattered with unhealthy gobs of saliva almost everywhere you look, especially in public places such as lifts, bus stops, toilets and especially the roads and pavements. One has to continually look out or risk having the spit of aliens sticking to your footwear. But it is impossible to always look at the ground when you walk, so the unpalatable fact is that each and every one of us carry some amount of this alien secretion on the soles of our shoes.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Stylish After 50

There is no age limit to being stylish and fashionable. One's fashion sense does not melt away into the sunset after 50. Plus there's absolutely no rule that says a woman in her 60s or 70s who has grandchildren must stop wearing make-up, painting her nails and wearing lovely clothes. Way too often have I heard the common refrain: " So old already why must dress up, who is going to look at us?" or "Already a grandmother, why want to do all this some more...." Said in typical Malaysian lingo of course! First of all, I don't get the concept of dressing up for other people. When you look good, you feel good, it is as simple as that. It is not about the number of people who might stop by to lavish you with compliments. It is about making a statement about who you are - someone who believes in looking good by wearing clothes that compliment her. Forget the white streaks in your hair, those faint lines on your face. Clothes, shoes and accessories don...

Aishwarya's Daughter

It was a big day for Bollywood yesterday, or for Bollywood fans at least when the reigning queen of Indian cinema Aishwarya Rai Bachchan was finally delivered of a baby girl. A big day and a big deal because speculation has been rife on when Ash would become a mum since she married Abhishek way back in 2007. Ash was admitted to the Seven Hills Hospital in Mumbai on Monday night. She went into labour at 4am on Wednesday and delivered about  six hours after. Ever since Ash got pregnant, all sorts of stories appeared in the Indian press with regards to the gender of her yet to be born child. Some said it would be twin girls, others said it would be a boy and had to be a boy because father in-law Amitabh Bachchan required a male heir to continue his family dynasty. There was even one strange story about her visiting a fertility clinic in Bangkok to sort of um.....ensure that the baby would be male. Well so much for all those stories! The baby is finally here and it is a gi...

Yummy Halloween Food

If you're gonna throw a party this All Hallow's Eve, my suggestion is to go all out! Let there be eyeballs floating in your punch bowl, a generous drizzle of blood atop your caramel pudding, rotting fingers protruding  from your chicken pie........get the picture? Well here's a couple of stomach churning images to get you started. These blogs and websites show you how to dish up a feast worthy of the undead! http://allrecipes.com/Recipes/holidays-and-events/halloween/main.aspx http://familyfun.go.com/halloween/halloween-recipes/ http://www.kraftcanada.com/en/recipes/holidays-and-entertaining/holidays/halloweencentre/tophalloweenrecipes.aspx http://www.taste.com.au/recipes/collections/halloween+recipes http://www.goodtoknow.co.uk/recipes/hal